I had thought about dying my hair a dark brown color with highlights that look like red stripes in the sunlight, letting it grow longer, so I can pull it back to really accent my wrinkles, and then climbing on the back of a motorcycle for some off-road fun. Then I thought about it and decided, nah. So I’m sticking with short gray hair and a new mobility scooter. I know it makes me look like I’m in my sixties. I am in my sixties! More importantly, with pulled back semi-red semi-brown hair, while on the back of a hog, I would still look like I’m in my sixties. I wouldn’t be fooling anyone, except myself.
This retired “thing” is quite the bee’s knees. Why didn’t anyone tell me about this before? Get up at ten o’clock; watch the headline news; breakfast (candy and diet coke); a shower; a scoot; a lunch break while on the scoot; more scooting; dinner; an On Demand first run movie; racking up tokens playing POGO Games online; maybe a load of laundry (maybe not); a soak in a hot tub; reclining in the new FABULOUS memory foam bed to watch important TV shows that we DVR’d earlier in the evening and, last but not least, a lengthy discussion with the old ball and chain about where to scoot tomorrow.
I’ve died and gone straight to heaven. Did not pass go, did not collect $200, but I’m in heaven nonetheless. We both are. We’ve done the big trips, lots of them. We piled up a lot of miles in our day. None of that interests us anymore. If I never see another airport it will be too soon. (Thirty years of flying all over the country on business will do that to you).
The Streets of San Francisco was a great TV show, but the streets of downtown St. Petersburg are better yet. Today, my husband Dick got a haircut, I got some clothes altered, we visited some great shops and had a wonderful Greek dinner on Central Avenue. All while scooting. Our cars are going to get very jealous. We might even have to get CB’s for these mean machines. Breaker, breaker, 10-4, good buddy, Dick and I we got us a convoy.
Dick, who has a hard time walking, has had his for quite a while but it was strictly for emergencies. If we needed to walk to a local restaurant, we could go because he could use his scooter. Now with two scooters — CLEAR A PATH, we’re coming through!
We learned today that while scooting – you actually get special treatment. People move out of the way for you on the sidewalks (these things don’t have number plates). Even cars yield for you. If you are familiar with this area, when was the last time you saw a car yield for anything in St. Pete, Florida? They don’t even yield for a police cruiser, but they yield for mobility scooters. Otherwise, how would it look when they had to file the insurance claim? “I hit an old lady and an old man crossing the road in their electric “wheelchairs.” No one will care that they are candy apple red and as cool as “Kookie” from “77 Sunset Strip.” They might as well be wheelchairs.
I assume this same premise holds true for any city, maybe even New York. So, folks, when you are on a mobility scooter, you hold the entire city hostage.
When we go away this summer, we both might forget to take underwear, but we won’t forget to take the scooters!! We are considering larger battery packs, Disney World is nice this time of year and it’s only an hour and a half away. As long as we wear sunscreen, we’re all set. We won’t even have to stop for gas.